Podcast

On this week’s episode of Financially Ever After, Stacy Francis has a fascinating conversation with Micki McWade, a clinical social worker and psychotherapist, whose primary work is with people contemplating or going through a divorce. She and Stacy discuss how to move on with your life – financially, professionally and emotionally after a divorce.

• Micki talks about her journey into social work and psychotherapy – it was never her original plan, but after an enriching experience with Al-Anon – she re-evaluated her life and decided to help other people recover from difficult life events.  [02:50]
• Al-Anon has been a successful program since the 1930s, and Micki shares how learning to give up control over what isn’t controllable, let her focus on building her own personal foundation – she translates this into her current work for her current clients. [05:00]
• Looking back at the time after her divorce, Micki is proud of her accomplishments, and how her children saw her take control of her life, and what was happening for their family. Refusing to take on the victim role let Mick invest in her own power. SUNY Empire State College was an invaluable resource, providing the flexibility to get a degree that launched a new career.  [09:30]
• Micki uses the 12-step framework to serve her clients – the tools, collaborative processes and opportunities for self-development help families move forward after major changes. She describes her role in these groups, and what an impact they can make. Collaborative divorce and mediation are always the best way forward if they are at all possible. [14:20]
• Stacy brings up that many women fear that going back to work or re-training will negatively affect their settlement. Micki talks about how this tends to play out, and what women should be aware of and plan for when they’re thinking about their financial future.   [18:00]
• Micki found she was energized by working with people going through a divorce in a non-professional capacity. For everyone, listening to that cue, and going through the doors that open because of it helps show you what you should be doing. Stacy adds a story of someone who was able to achieve more than she had ever imagined by taking a chance and using her network. She discusses how other women can do the same. [22:50]
• There are a lot of feelings around your ex starting to date, or getting married, and likewise when deciding you are ready to start seeing people again. It’s hard to come back from divorce emotionally, and Micki recommends finding a support group of other people going through the same thing. Giving back to and helping others will always make you feel better, and connection is the most important thing you can create for yourself. [26:00]
• At a certain point you will need to have a conversation about who you, and who your ex is dating – and managing that can be intimidating. You should be very certain of a new person in your life before you bring them around your family. Stacy draws a parallel with how Francis Financial has a lengthy ‘get to know you’ process for new team members. [30:00]
• Micki shares some very excellent advice she was given while she was going through her divorce – a guiding principle she was able to use while a lot of different decisions had to be made. [34:00]

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