As a financial planner, I’ve had the privilege of guiding many clients through significant life events, but one of the most rewarding experiences has been helping LGBTQ+ couples plan for parenthood through surrogacy. Surrogacy is an increasingly popular path to parenthood, but it is also one that requires meticulous financial planning due to the complexities and costs involved.

Recently, I worked with a gay couple in their 30s living in California who had three primary financial goals: starting a family, purchasing a home, and securing their retirement. Their journey to parenthood was particularly poignant, as they had initially explored adoption but were deterred by the potential emotional and legal challenges. Adoption can be a more affordable and quicker route to parenthood, but it’s not without its risks. The possibility that a birth mother, who is biologically connected to the child, might change her mind after birth is a daunting reality. This uncertainty can extend well beyond the birth, leading to potential emotional trauma for all parties involved. For this couple, the risks associated with adoption outweighed the potential benefits, leading them to choose surrogacy as their path to parenthood.

The Financial Phases of Surrogacy

Surrogacy is an expensive and complex process, but with careful planning, it can be made more manageable. We approached the financial planning for surrogacy in three distinct phases, each with its own set of considerations and costs.

Phase I: Health Approval, Egg Procurement, and Surrogate Identification

The first phase involves ensuring that all parties are approved from a health perspective, obtaining eggs, and identifying a surrogate. While the cost of purchasing donor eggs varies significantly, typically ranging from $5,000 to $15,000, additional costs include health screenings, medical consultations, and agency fees. For my clients, this phase required a well-defined savings strategy and an assessment of financing options such as health savings accounts (HSAs) or fertility treatment loans.

Phase II: Legal Representation and Embryo Creation

The second phase involves securing legal representation for all parties and selecting a clinic to create the embryos and carry out the insemination. Legal fees for surrogacy contracts and parental rights establishment can range from $5,000 to $15,000, depending on state laws and complexity. Additionally, embryo creation costs, including in vitro fertilization (IVF) procedures, can add another $10,000 to $20,000. As financial planners, it is essential to help clients evaluate medical financing options, insurance coverage, and tax-advantaged savings accounts that may offset some of these expenses.

Phase III: Embryo Implantation and Surrogate Compensation

The final phase is where the bulk of the costs are incurred. Surrogate compensation, which typically ranges from $40,000 to $80,000, is the most significant expense. Additionally, medical costs, including prenatal care, delivery, and potential complications, can range from $15,000 to $30,000. Clients must also consider the cost of additional embryo transfers if the first implantation is unsuccessful. I advised my clients to establish a surrogacy-specific savings plan, leveraging investment strategies that align with their timeline and risk tolerance.

Managing Costs and Financial Strategies

To make surrogacy financially feasible, I help clients explore various funding strategies, including:

• Savings and Investment Strategies: Setting up dedicated investment accounts with growth potential to cover long-term expenses.
• Employer Benefits: Some employers offer fertility treatment and surrogacy reimbursement benefits that can significantly reduce out-of-pocket costs.
• Grants and Nonprofits: LGBTQ+ family-building grants and nonprofit organizations may provide financial assistance for surrogacy expenses.
• Loans and Financing: Specialized fertility financing programs can help bridge financial gaps without derailing long-term financial goals.
• Insurance Considerations: Ensuring the surrogate has comprehensive medical coverage and exploring life and disability insurance options for all parties involved.

The Emotional and Financial Complexities

Surrogacy is not just a financial journey; it is also a deeply personal and emotional one. Every step of the process is tied to financial considerations, from the initial decision to pursue surrogacy to the moment the child is born. For my clients, their commitment to parenthood and their disciplined approach to saving made the process smoother, but the emotional challenges were ever-present. Having a trusted financial partner who could guide them through the financial implications of each step while keeping their other goals—such as purchasing a home and planning for retirement—in mind, provided them with peace of mind.

The Importance of Comprehensive Planning

For LGBTQ+ couples considering surrogacy, comprehensive financial planning is essential. It is a process that requires not only a significant financial investment but also a deep emotional commitment. As a financial planner, my role is to provide the guidance and support needed to navigate this complex journey, ensuring that my clients can achieve their dream of parenthood while also securing their financial future.

Surrogacy may be expensive and challenging, but with careful planning and the right support, it is a rewarding path to creating a family.

Learn more about how we have helped our current clients achieve their goals.